People Playing People: Kingdom Hearts
by vanity sinning
Summary: People always thought Paul and Alycia were losers, but when they get sucked in to the world of Kingdom Hearts will they prove their more then Losers. And where the hell did Glinda the good witch come from? Crack Induced, I made the paper snort crack!


Title: People Playing People: Kingdom Hearts Part One. (There will be many parts)

A/N: Ok, guys so this is my first Kingdom Hearts story and not my last. It's a comedy/action/adventure although I don't write many and this one will not be my last, I'm more of a Tragedy, Romance type writer (or any thing depressing). But this story is very crack (well at first not so much but later) induced so with all said and done read on my crack heads, read on.

Rating: Teen for drug use, language, sexual content and some hard bashing.

Disclaimer: Nope I don't own KH. Or any thing else that appears in this story.

I sat and stared down at the KH manga in front of me, me and my friend Paul were playing Kingdom Hearts although I had already beaten the game Paul was stuck in the Savanna with the giant heartless.

"FUCK!" Paul swore loudly and threw the game controller down and stared at the screen which now read game over. I laughed and stared at his angered face.

"You still can't beat it?" I asked putting down the KH manga I was reading.

"The god damn thing won't die!" He said frustratingly, I laughed and grabbed the controller.

I started the Savanna over, jumped on the Heartless's back and beat the thing with in maybe 5 minutes or less.

"WHAT!" Paul said his face becoming more and more red as I played, when I finished I stood and went to his kitchen getting some snacks.

I was pouring both of us apple juice when I heard Paul scream bloody murder.

I ran into the room to find Sora's face on the screen, I couldn't exactly hear what he was saying, but I managed to make out the words "help me". His voice then began to fade along with his face until all we saw was multiple colors on the screen.

"What was that?" Paul asked his face awe struck.

I didn't exactly know what to do except something kept pulling me toward the colored screen.

"Alycia! What are you doing?" Paul asked starting to become panicky.

I was still being pulled toward that pretty colored screen when Paul tugged at my arm trying to pull me back, but it was to late for both of us got sucked into the colored screen.

xxxxx

When I awoke, some animal that looked like Paul was in my face shaking me as hard as he could trying to wake me up.

"Alycia! Come on wake up!" The animal who seemed like Paul said.

I opened my eyes and stared at the "Paul" person I knew.

"P-Paul?" I asked my eyes widening in shock.

"Thank God! Your Awake! We landed in what seems like the Savanna in Kingdom Hearts, but I'm not sure…" Paul said.

I got up and looked down at myself, I was NO human but an animal, and a lion cub to be exact, my fur was all black and Paul looked like a…..dodo bird?

Wait dodo birds in the Savanna? I began to slightly giggle as I looked at Paul, his "feathers" were a navy blue and his head looked like a messed up spin off of _Yugioh _with baby blue and white streaks.

"Paul…haha….you're a….hahahah….dodo?" I asked in short giggles.

Paul looked down at himself and then at me, his face showing pure frustration.

"Why do you get the cool animal while I'm stuck being a bird that doesn't even exist!" He said frowning.

I looked around and shrugged. "Paul I don't think we're in Kansas anymore…"

Out of nowhere a bright pink bubble came and popped to reveal a very sexy…..wait sexy stripper like Glinda? WHAT!

"So…" She said in a very seductive voice. Paul's eyes widened and he smiled like he was on dope or some thing.

"Are you a good witch or a ….naughty witch?" She asked her eyes darkening and a sexy smile appeared on her face.

My mouth dropped open. What was Glinda the suppose to be "good" witch doing in Kingdom Hearts?

"Aren't you suppose to be Glinda the "Good" witch?" I asked.

She smiled and pouted her lips causing Paul to make some weird disgruntled sounds.

"PAUL SICK!" I screamed turning to him.

"I am a _good_ witch…" She whispered blowing some kiss's at Paul who then dropped dead to the down.

"Aren't you in the wrong story?" I asked again looking at her through slanty eyes.

But before she answered Sora, Donald, and Goofy popped up from the Pride Rock.

"FINALLY!" Sora yelled but stopped dumb struck when he saw Glinda.

"Hehe….your hott….." Sora muttered slight drool hanging out of his mouth.

"Yeah hott…" Ron Weasly said eye's glazing.

"HOTT!" Naruto Uzamaki said bright blue eyes lighting up.

"Uober Hott!" Frodo said shaking his head.

"To Hott!" SpongeBob muttered laughing his crack filled laugh.

"Can you say H-O-T-T!" Batman shouted coming out of the darkness.

I was beginning to wonder where the hell all these people were coming from when every one pointed to Xemnas who looked very…..cool and collective.

"It's time…" Xemnas said dangerously.

4 Hours Later:

"Have any 8's: Ron said.

"WHAT THE 45#$ 82$# &!!!$&!" Oh my did that just come out of SpongeBob's mouth.

"Goldfish…" Frodo said taking every ones cards.

"THAT'S BS!" Naruto screamed knocking over the table and standing.

"Where's Paul?" I asked every one and we all looked toward that cave thing where we again heard funny sexual noise's coming out of Paul and Glinda's mouths.

"Damn, I gotta get back to bringing the worlds at their knees." Xemnas said standing and wrapping himself in his enormously large coat.

"Yeah and I've got to get back to the Bat cave. Jokers probably waiting…"

"Ok so umm does this mean that the games over?" Ron asked putting down his cards.

"Yep guess it does." Naruto said standing hands over his head.

"Ahhh….does this mean we have to fight?" Sora asked pouting a little.

"Yep…" I murmured.

"Well nice playing with ya'll." Frodo said waving and then they all disappeared into little black holes.

Ok so me I'm very confused I just got sucked into Paul's KH game, met a stripping Glinda, and now random people are popping out of black holes?

WHAT THE HELL WAS THE WORLD COMING TO!

Glinda and Paul were finished and I was still very Confused, but Paul seemed happy and satisfied.

"I just got laid…" Paul said smugly, looking around. "Where's every one?"

I looked at Paul awe struck and slapped my paw to my fore head.

"THEY LEFT!" I screamed. Sora laughed and feel to the ground and then out of no where the god damn giant heartless popped up.

"SHIT!" We all swore and ducked as the giant ass came pounding toward us.

"What are we suppose to do now!" Paul said panicking.

I looked at Sora and a key blade appeared in his mouth and he rushed at the monster starting to attack.

"So does this mean we fight to?" Paul asked. I shrugged.

"I guess so…" I murmured and out of nowhere (what is up with this stuff popping up randomly) a pure black key blade appeared at my feet. It was a very awesome looking key blade, it slightly resembled Sora's yet had it's own flare, like the blade was black and the handle was red then the chain with the King's head was black

"THAT'S COOL!" Paul said an awe struck expressing on his face.

I looked at Sora who seemed to need help and then at Paul.

"I'm going to help!" I said and rushed at the giant monster who was attacking Sora and began to help him.

Paul who was doing god knows what then fly's to me ?(ok so dodo birds don't fly but work with me). Wait! Fly? Huh? Dodo birds don't fly?

"What are you doing!" I yelled over the clashing of metal against monster.

"I just gotta question?" He asked.

"WHAT!" Me and Sora yelled in unison.

"If I press the button on this things ass that says "Self Destruct" does that mean that this thing will blow up?" He said.

Me and Sora looked at each other.

"What?" We said looking at Paul.

"Come here and look." So we both followed Paul to the back of the Heartless and there right over the ass hole was a red button that said "self destruct".

I looked at Paul then Sora and all three of us pressed the button and ran for our dear lives.

I heartless gave a curdling scream and then burst into flames, while me, Paul, and Sora stared at it busting into flames.

"Was that possible?" Sora asked in shock.

"I dono…" I said just as awed as Sora was.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Paul screamed his feathers shaking with excitement.

I sighed and looked around. "So how do we get home?" I asked. And looked down at my paws where ruby slippers were.

"I'm suppose to tap my heels together three times and say "there's no place like home"." I asked. Paul nodded and so I did, but instead of going home we were sucked into a black Portal.

A/N: HA! There it is finished R&R, no flames though. Love ya'll forever PEACE!

See you in the Final Fantasy 7 section!


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